To: hr@opm.gov
From: Rick Astley
RE: What I won't do this week
1.
25.2.2025 19:26To: hr@opm.govFrom: Rick Astley RE: What I won't do this week1.Auto correct changed my chicken pot pie into a chicken pot Poe and now I must tear up the crust! — here, here! — it is the beating of the chicken's hideous heart!
16.2.2025 22:18Auto correct changed my chicken pot pie into a chicken pot Poe and now I must tear up the crust! — here, here! — it is the beating of...Fupaux: When you buy pants that are too small and can't get the zipper to close.
12.2.2025 07:54Fupaux: When you buy pants that are too small and can't get the zipper to close.That's it! I'm running away to play keytar in an 80s cover band playing on one of those four year round the world cruises.
6.2.2025 20:21That's it! I'm running away to play keytar in an 80s cover band playing on one of those four year round the world cruises.Me: *watching the driver of the hearse in front of us jump out, race to the back, open the door, peek in, and slam it shut* Well that's disconcerting.
Son: Nah, it would be disconcerting if he ran away.
3.2.2025 08:23Me: *watching the driver of the hearse in front of us jump out, race to the back, open the door, peek in, and slam it shut* Well that's...My imaginary friend tells others I'm their imaginary friend.
27.1.2025 04:20My imaginary friend tells others I'm their imaginary friend.Autocorrect changed distraction to destruction and now I've transformed from a mere human with ADHD to Godzilla with ADHD. I may or may not finish destroying the city.
24.1.2025 07:00Autocorrect changed distraction to destruction and now I've transformed from a mere human with ADHD to Godzilla with ADHD. I may or may...Doctor: You need a sleep routine.
Me: I told you I have one.
Doctor: Doomscrolling and posting til 4am is not a routine.
Me: It is if you do it every night.
23.1.2025 02:42Doctor: You need a sleep routine. Me: I told you I have one. Doctor: Doomscrolling and posting til 4am is not a routine. Me: It is if you do...Group therapist: Please share.
The Void: All day long people scream into me but if I scream back it's all "Oh my God! It's the apocalypse! Make it stop!"
Group: We never considered your feelings.
The Void: Appreciate the validation.
Group: You know we're still going to scream into you though.
20.1.2025 20:37Group therapist: Please share.The Void: All day long people scream into me but if I scream back it's all "Oh my God! It's the...New Architects dropped!
Architects: "Blackhole"
https://youtu.be/8SoLPeFquLM?si=eyWDBTyBSqWTFaRV
15.1.2025 07:49New Architects dropped! Architects: "Blackhole"https://youtu.be/8SoLPeFquLM?si=eyWDBTyBSqWTFaRVFamily begging me not to go into the light but it's the refrigerator light and I'm going to get that last piece of cheesecake.
11.1.2025 21:37Family begging me not to go into the light but it's the refrigerator light and I'm going to get that last piece of cheesecake.It's 2025 and I've finally decided to become the nameless horror that haunts the forest I was meant to be! I've already begun to shed my human form! Who's in?
11.1.2025 09:39It's 2025 and I've finally decided to become the nameless horror that haunts the forest I was meant to be! I've already begun to...Show us the last four albums you listened to.
Imminence: "The Black
Health: "Rat Wars"
Mirar: "Ascension"
Electric Callboy: "Tekkno"
My hobbies include rock and fossil collecting, ruminating on dumb things I've said, and picking up useless facts like a katamari ball. Where are you going?!
6.1.2025 09:45My hobbies include rock and fossil collecting, ruminating on dumb things I've said, and picking up useless facts like a katamari ball....ASCII of a cat gesturing as though it knocked something over. Stars and 2 people are tumbling down as though they were spilled.
5.1.2025 10:59ASCII of a cat gesturing as though it knocked something over. Stars and 2 people are tumbling down as though they were spilled.God: Cat no! Not them!
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(= ͡ ° ᆺ ͡° )=
\╭☞ ・゚*。★・ ゚
*・ ゚🤸♂️* *
★・ ゚* *.
・゚*。🤸♀️・
★
Me, lying awake at 3am but this time I'm thinking about how I nailed it when I replied "Thank you" when the gate attendant wished me a good flight.
1.1.2025 21:35Me, lying awake at 3am but this time I'm thinking about how I nailed it when I replied "Thank you" when the gate attendant...Wait! Don't turn your back on it yet! *Poking 2024 with a stick* Nope. It's still twitching.
1.1.2025 04:35Wait! Don't turn your back on it yet! *Poking 2024 with a stick* Nope. It's still twitching.You've got this Sheila! Just remember, new year new ewe!
1.1.2025 03:50You've got this Sheila! Just remember, new year new ewe!Koala in the streets, drop bear in the sheets.
28.12.2024 23:21Koala in the streets, drop bear in the sheets.