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To: hr@opm.govFrom: Rick Astley RE: What I won't do this week1.

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To: hr@opm.gov
From: Rick Astley

RE: What I won't do this week

1.

25.2.2025 19:26To: hr@opm.govFrom: Rick Astley RE: What I won't do this week1.
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Auto correct changed my chicken pot pie into a chicken pot Poe and now I must tear up the crust! — here, here! — it is the beating of...

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Auto correct changed my chicken pot pie into a chicken pot Poe and now I must tear up the crust! — here, here! — it is the beating of the chicken's hideous heart!

16.2.2025 22:18Auto correct changed my chicken pot pie into a chicken pot Poe and now I must tear up the crust! — here, here! — it is the beating of...
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Fupaux: When you buy pants that are too small and can't get the zipper to close.

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Fupaux: When you buy pants that are too small and can't get the zipper to close.

12.2.2025 07:54Fupaux: When you buy pants that are too small and can't get the zipper to close.
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That's it! I'm running away to play keytar in an 80s cover band playing on one of those four year round the world cruises.

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That's it! I'm running away to play keytar in an 80s cover band playing on one of those four year round the world cruises.

6.2.2025 20:21That's it! I'm running away to play keytar in an 80s cover band playing on one of those four year round the world cruises.
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Me: *watching the driver of the hearse in front of us jump out, race to the back, open the door, peek in, and slam it shut* Well that's...

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Me: *watching the driver of the hearse in front of us jump out, race to the back, open the door, peek in, and slam it shut* Well that's disconcerting.

Son: Nah, it would be disconcerting if he ran away.

3.2.2025 08:23Me: *watching the driver of the hearse in front of us jump out, race to the back, open the door, peek in, and slam it shut* Well that's...
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My imaginary friend tells others I'm their imaginary friend.

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My imaginary friend tells others I'm their imaginary friend.

27.1.2025 04:20My imaginary friend tells others I'm their imaginary friend.
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Autocorrect changed distraction to destruction and now I've transformed from a mere human with ADHD to Godzilla with ADHD. I may or may...

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Autocorrect changed distraction to destruction and now I've transformed from a mere human with ADHD to Godzilla with ADHD. I may or may not finish destroying the city.

24.1.2025 07:00Autocorrect changed distraction to destruction and now I've transformed from a mere human with ADHD to Godzilla with ADHD. I may or may...
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Doctor: You need a sleep routine. Me: I told you I have one. Doctor: Doomscrolling and posting til 4am is not a routine. Me: It is if you do...

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Doctor: You need a sleep routine.

Me: I told you I have one.

Doctor: Doomscrolling and posting til 4am is not a routine.

Me: It is if you do it every night.

23.1.2025 02:42Doctor: You need a sleep routine. Me: I told you I have one. Doctor: Doomscrolling and posting til 4am is not a routine. Me: It is if you do...
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Group therapist: Please share.The Void: All day long people scream into me but if I scream back it's all "Oh my God! It's the...

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Group therapist: Please share.

The Void: All day long people scream into me but if I scream back it's all "Oh my God! It's the apocalypse! Make it stop!"

Group: We never considered your feelings.

The Void: Appreciate the validation.

Group: You know we're still going to scream into you though.

20.1.2025 20:37Group therapist: Please share.The Void: All day long people scream into me but if I scream back it's all "Oh my God! It's the...
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New Architects dropped! Architects: "Blackhole"https://youtu.be/8SoLPeFquLM?si=eyWDBTyBSqWTFaRV

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New Architects dropped!

Architects: "Blackhole"

youtu.be/8SoLPeFquLM?si=eyWDBT

15.1.2025 07:49New Architects dropped! Architects: "Blackhole"https://youtu.be/8SoLPeFquLM?si=eyWDBTyBSqWTFaRV
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Family begging me not to go into the light but it's the refrigerator light and I'm going to get that last piece of cheesecake.

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Family begging me not to go into the light but it's the refrigerator light and I'm going to get that last piece of cheesecake.

11.1.2025 21:37Family begging me not to go into the light but it's the refrigerator light and I'm going to get that last piece of cheesecake.
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It's 2025 and I've finally decided to become the nameless horror that haunts the forest I was meant to be! I've already begun to...

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It's 2025 and I've finally decided to become the nameless horror that haunts the forest I was meant to be! I've already begun to shed my human form! Who's in?

11.1.2025 09:39It's 2025 and I've finally decided to become the nameless horror that haunts the forest I was meant to be! I've already begun to...
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Show us the last four albums you listened to. Imminence: "The BlackHealth: "Rat Wars"Mirar: "Ascension"Electric...

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Show us the last four albums you listened to.
Imminence: "The Black
Health: "Rat Wars"
Mirar: "Ascension"
Electric Callboy: "Tekkno"

6.1.2025 23:08Show us the last four albums you listened to. Imminence: "The BlackHealth: "Rat Wars"Mirar: "Ascension"Electric...
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My hobbies include rock and fossil collecting, ruminating on dumb things I've said, and picking up useless facts like a katamari ball....

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My hobbies include rock and fossil collecting, ruminating on dumb things I've said, and picking up useless facts like a katamari ball. Where are you going?!

6.1.2025 09:45My hobbies include rock and fossil collecting, ruminating on dumb things I've said, and picking up useless facts like a katamari ball....
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ASCII of a cat gesturing as though it knocked something over. Stars and 2 people are tumbling down as though they were spilled.

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ASCII of a cat gesturing as though it knocked something over. Stars and 2 people are tumbling down as though they were spilled.

5.1.2025 10:59ASCII of a cat gesturing as though it knocked something over. Stars and 2 people are tumbling down as though they were spilled.
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God: Cat no! Not them!_/\____/\ (= ͡ ° ᆺ ͡° )= \╭☞ ・゚*。★・ ゚ *・...

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God: Cat no! Not them!

_/\____/\
(= ͡ ° ᆺ ͡° )=
\╭☞ ・゚*。★・ ゚
*・ ゚🤸‍♂️* *
★・ ゚* *.
・゚*。🤸‍♀️・

5.1.2025 10:58God: Cat no! Not them!_/\____/\ (= ͡ ° ᆺ ͡° )= \╭☞ ・゚*。★・ ゚ *・...
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Me, lying awake at 3am but this time I'm thinking about how I nailed it when I replied "Thank you" when the gate attendant...

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Me, lying awake at 3am but this time I'm thinking about how I nailed it when I replied "Thank you" when the gate attendant wished me a good flight.

1.1.2025 21:35Me, lying awake at 3am but this time I'm thinking about how I nailed it when I replied "Thank you" when the gate attendant...
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Wait! Don't turn your back on it yet! *Poking 2024 with a stick* Nope. It's still twitching.

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Wait! Don't turn your back on it yet! *Poking 2024 with a stick* Nope. It's still twitching.

1.1.2025 04:35Wait! Don't turn your back on it yet! *Poking 2024 with a stick* Nope. It's still twitching.
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You've got this Sheila! Just remember, new year new ewe!

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You've got this Sheila! Just remember, new year new ewe!

1.1.2025 03:50You've got this Sheila! Just remember, new year new ewe!
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Koala in the streets, drop bear in the sheets.

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Koala in the streets, drop bear in the sheets.

28.12.2024 23:21Koala in the streets, drop bear in the sheets.
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