We already have 2 double shots completed
6.11.2024 00:56We already have 2 double shots completedWhat's a nice way to tell someone that her 3 month old baby looks like a 40 year old Lighthouse keeper who shuts himself away from society because he's haunted by the accidental death of his wife?
20.2.2024 05:27What's a nice way to tell someone that her 3 month old baby looks like a 40 year old Lighthouse keeper who shuts himself away from...I've taken small bites out of 1,593 people while they were asleep, and I've come to the conclusion that humans don't actually taste good.
17.2.2024 14:24I've taken small bites out of 1,593 people while they were asleep, and I've come to the conclusion that humans don't actually...Finally listening to my Spotify Wrapped "Your Top Songs 2023" and like I don't know 3 of them 😂
2.12.2023 17:17Finally listening to my Spotify Wrapped "Your Top Songs 2023" and like I don't know 3 of them 😂For someone that has a pen collection, why can I never find a pen?
2.12.2023 05:01For someone that has a pen collection, why can I never find a pen?At the dentist and my stomach is growling so loud during my filling 😭😭😭
30.11.2023 16:35At the dentist and my stomach is growling so loud during my filling 😭😭😭What a great day to come back to social media
30.11.2023 03:13What a great day to come back to social mediaThis just in: Champagne sales double as people celebrate the death of a giant POS
30.11.2023 03:06This just in: Champagne sales double as people celebrate the death of a giant POSI'm just a gal, standing in the mirror and hoping the mirror version of me takes over and deals with all this crap for awhile. I'm tired.
30.11.2023 00:44I'm just a gal, standing in the mirror and hoping the mirror version of me takes over and deals with all this crap for awhile. I'm...Destined With You is that K drama that just too good for only 16 episodes. There's the right amount of sweet, sarcasm, pettiness, and mystery to keep people tuned in. But honestly all the characters are fun and even the slow parts didn't feel like a chore.
#kdramas #kdrama #destinedwithyou
12.10.2023 23:29Destined With You is that K drama that just too good for only 16 episodes. There's the right amount of sweet, sarcasm, pettiness, and...She built herself a fort ❤️
12.10.2023 21:41She built herself a fort ❤️I'm tired of matching with all the people on Tinder claiming to be Pennywise but they're just some basic loser in clown makeup
3.10.2023 19:09I'm tired of matching with all the people on Tinder claiming to be Pennywise but they're just some basic loser in clown makeupThere's a school in Japan that allows you to send a robot to class for you when you don't feel like being bothered with school. I would like to request one for when I don't feel like working or being an adult
20.9.2023 05:55There's a school in Japan that allows you to send a robot to class for you when you don't feel like being bothered with school. I...Sometimes when I'm bored, I'll text a friend "Ev'rybody wants to be a cat" and then when they ask if I'm watching Aristocats I don't respond for two days then I text back no.
31.8.2023 19:37Sometimes when I'm bored, I'll text a friend "Ev'rybody wants to be a cat" and then when they ask if I'm watching...Therapist *last week*: Maybe your goal for this week should be going to bed at a decent time.
Me: Yeah, I can do that
Also me: *Stays up until 3 am the night before my next therapy session*
22.8.2023 07:13Therapist *last week*: Maybe your goal for this week should be going to bed at a decent time.Me: Yeah, I can do that Also me: *Stays up...There's a guy on TikTok that has been live for 8 hours now and he says he's cleaning but every time I click he's just sitting in a different spot eating a snack and it's the most relatable TikTok live ever
16.8.2023 05:47There's a guy on TikTok that has been live for 8 hours now and he says he's cleaning but every time I click he's just sitting in...Someone apparently stole my package and I hope they enjoy their new hamster toy lol
15.8.2023 18:25Someone apparently stole my package and I hope they enjoy their new hamster toy lolAmazon knocking at my door at 4 am to deliver a package- that could have came literally any other time- is my villain orgin
13.8.2023 08:49Amazon knocking at my door at 4 am to deliver a package- that could have came literally any other time- is my villain orginRow, row, row your boat,
Gently down the stream.
Act natural and the police
Will never find the body you dump