TheKing4562 - Network

Content warning:Death of a personal petI miss them everyday but there's no one to tell that to and I don't know if they can ever...

Content warning:Death of a personal pet

I miss them everyday but there's no one to tell that to and I don't know if they can ever hear me.

Winter has been lonelier than it should be. A sad opinion to have but I think they were the last one to ever visit me in my corner in the world, in the flesh, because they wanted too.

I should work more towards their memorial, making things is hard right now without wanting to etch my memory of him into my work. but I also feel like I don't want that feeling to go away either.

Content warning:Death of a personal petThe hospital sent flowers today, wasn't expecting it. Even if its formality it feels really nice...

Content warning:Death of a personal pet

The hospital sent flowers today, wasn't expecting it. Even if its formality it feels really nice that someone remembers my dear buddy. They even pick a color that matched him too.

Content warning:Death of a personal petI help dug the 2ft of my cat's grave today to reach at least 4ft , would have gone further but...

Content warning:Death of a personal pet

I help dug the 2ft of my cat's grave today to reach at least 4ft , would have gone further but the ground is to hard under my shovel.

My dog sat by me and watch for a bit.

It hasn't been easy was considering not typing any of this and putting it somewhere online.

Its still hard to believe they are gone, Leukemia got them and they've been down-spiraling for the past month, the tipping point was refusing any and all food, then being told he was anemic.

He was himself all the way through. But that being said, I still need my buddy. The only soul I knew and continuously wanted to visit my room for visiting shake alone.

In someways its not as traumatic as my dog passing away while I was in a different country for 2 years during middle school.
However, I think it just hurts more thinking about everything I lost the past 3 years.

Life is so much easier when your not hurting. Had a week long reoccurring headache last week and getting anything done with misery.

Life is so much easier when your not hurting. Had a week long reoccurring headache last week and getting anything done with misery.

Dr. Robotnik’s Ring Racers is awesome and I can't recommend it enough, beyond having funny amounts of depths with driving. It has a...

Dr. Robotnik’s Ring Racers is awesome and I can't recommend it enough, beyond having funny amounts of depths with driving.
It has a proper circuit progress mode this time around with CPU drivers + a milestone like progressions system. (Also the music is awesome)
Definitely a game to boot up for a lil bit each day and see how you progress.

I think his is the official link for the game download. Probably better to download it via your package manager.
https://www.kartkrew.org/

I finally finish Haunted Demo Disc 2021, took me since 2021 on and off. Proud of myself.

I finally finish Haunted Demo Disc 2021, took me since 2021 on and off. Proud of myself.

Re-listening the Sonic Heroes theme song on its own as an adult made me realize something. It feels as awesome and goes as hard as it did...

Re-listening the Sonic Heroes theme song on its own as an adult made me realize something.
It feels as awesome and goes as hard as it did when I once was a kid.
Seriously give it a listen again if anyone has the time.
EDIT: Um.. Sonic generation longer version is way better.
https://youtu.be/lUafig8MuyE

I liked The Suicide Squad 2021 movie. It was really neat hearing a song I really like but nobody else I know does during one of the...

I liked The Suicide Squad 2021 movie. It was really neat hearing a song I really like but nobody else I know does during one of the Harley'spart

There something to be said about learning how something is made.For those who truly appreciate the things we call works of art, learning how...

There something to be said about learning how something is made.

For those who truly appreciate the things we call works of art, learning how its made makes it lose some of that magic that attracted us to begin with.
Talking about that mystic wonder of what untold amount of technique and attention to detail to takes to get something that was once seen as surreal.

However its not so bad, eventually through learning and practice it comes a point where we can realize do it/kinda do it too.
And when that happens the moment does hit where oneself realize. Oh snap, I am a wizard too!

Content warning:Lament and HalloweenIts hard to feel inspired, been working allot and just tired, dunno if its me, what's around me, or...

Content warning:Lament and Halloween

Its hard to feel inspired, been working allot and just tired, dunno if its me, what's around me, or the things I engage with.

Been feeling like I've been silently attacked by the color mosquito and I'm all dull and grey.

Hopefully a taste of Halloween can bring back some of my drive for things.
I think its mostly feeling alone in things I do and work on, its not always the case truly but that how it be feeling.

Content warning:2/2 Self realization but slightly sad? Vent at the endAnd the only real one I know out of them who went away? Far as I can...

Content warning:2/2 Self realization but slightly sad? Vent at the end

And the only real one I know out of them who went away? Far as I can tell I wasn't worth it compare to those same truly two-face fake people. At least in the end they were the only one who could have said sorry, not even my own brother involved could have done that to this day.

Content warning:Self realization but slightly sad? Vent at the endFigure out something about myself, one of the reason I might have...

Content warning:Self realization but slightly sad? Vent at the end

Figure out something about myself, one of the reason I might have subconsciously hold on to things that are falling apart in my hands is due to my emotions attach to them.

Nowa days its hard to fine enjoyment in new things existing unless it cover some specific niche. Feels allot like wet paper at the end of the day trying to enjoy something.

On the other hand, the old things I already had feelings for.. guess in a way its like chasing a high I can't get anymore, sometimes its not like that but sometimes it is.

I don't have a personal solution to this but I will say it probably contributed to how long I waited to re-unite with people who I never realized were being my friend's out of apathethic pity my entire life. I should have realize when I try to talk to them about something real and the reactions that follow from the worst offenders.

Content warning:Friendship vent stuffI once believed for a long time I made some friends that last me a lifetime. Not only I saw how wrong I...

Content warning:Friendship vent stuff

I once believed for a long time I made some friends that last me a lifetime. Not only I saw how wrong I was, I am back to where I started with extra injection of depression to tire me out too.

Can't really explain well how it all collectively hurts. But I can say that being alone sucks and its only luck mixed in with allot effort that it gets better. Allot of it wasted.
Guess it doesn't help that I feel like an outsider in general, and a voice that is almost always unheard (and I ain't just talking about socials medias).

Content warning:Very sad defeatist life ventTook a small lifetime to figure this out, wasted so much of my life on people who wanted to be...

Content warning:Very sad defeatist life vent

Took a small lifetime to figure this out, wasted so much of my life on people who wanted to be fake. People who never tell you how they are feel but will lie through their teeth faking it the entire way.
Problem is that people sometimes grow up to be that way, or maybe it was just me ignoring the signs of it happening so I wouldn't be alone.
When it comes down to it, on the other hand, haven't found many of the "real ones" for a lack of better of term and if I did, many of em don't want to be any friend of mine... or maybe I always gave them too much credit, even as the years twisted by.

Either way this two-face culture in the world is going to be the death of me at this rate, and it'll be on all their collective hands. All together to toss me off a cliff, blind folded to keep the bliss flowing as they commit their collective long-term snail speed march against me.

They say "Don't let the bastards wear you down" but all I got to say to that parasocial voiced quote that will never hear back is the simple phrase "I'm tired boss"

https://oddwarg.itch.io/sulphur-nimbus-hels-elixirFinish #sulphurnimbus yesterday and it was awesome. Easily blows allot of the flow of...

https://oddwarg.itch.io/sulphur-nimbus-hels-elixir

Finish #sulphurnimbus yesterday and it was awesome. Easily blows allot of the flow of "tripple A" platformers out of the water. Hoping to have the time on this earth and willpowerful to learn from it and make something similar to this game onday :)

Oh yes um, this game is severely underrated, dunno a soul who has talked about it.

Finish watching Nimona today, gosh it was awesome.

Finish watching Nimona today, gosh it was awesome.

Content warning:Sad but true thoughtA nice thing about losing majority of your once close friends that you never tell ya happybday in...

Content warning:Sad but true thought

A nice thing about losing majority of your once close friends that you never tell ya happybday in return.

Allot less bdays to try to remember.
Also not like it was remembered when it was vice-versa.

Content warning:Trama and video games, but also...

Content warning:Trama and video games, but also stories.

https://itch.io/blog/575847/real-talk-games-about-trauma-art-caught-between-everything-is-horrible-everything-is-survivable-and-this-is-too-hard-to-talk-about

Found something neat from a person who I like for their work. Check em out if ya wanna see.

Saw a game I recommended in the front page of another friend's steam client while they were streaming. Guess me and my 200+ reviews are...

Saw a game I recommended in the front page of another friend's steam client while they were streaming. Guess me and my 200+ reviews are being heard in some way. :)

Content warning:Sad life stuff ventI am surrounded by too many people who for one reason or another dehumanize me, regardless on how I try...

Content warning:Sad life stuff vent

I am surrounded by too many people who for one reason or another dehumanize me, regardless on how I try to treat them. Wish there was a peaceful way to abandoned the ones from home.