aurin_the_classtraitor - Network

🎶🎵 Ohhhh I hope he's never caught! The man who shot the insurance ceo!...

🎶🎵 Ohhhh I hope he's never caught!
The man who shot the insurance ceo! 🎶🎵

https://dionra.com/music.php?song=themanwhoshottheinsuranceceo

I genuinely don't believe Luigi did it. but even if there was doubt about it, it would be the tactically, politically, morally and...

I genuinely don't believe Luigi did it. but even if there was doubt about it, it would be the tactically, politically, morally and ethically right thing to do to NOT BELIEVE COP PROPAGANDA.

don't believe them and don't parrot their propaganda. don't concede this ground to them. there is literally no need to do that.

I wouldn't believe a cop if they told me the sky was blue. and neither should you.

as far as I can tell, it's a cop move to believe the cop propaganda that they caught the actual uhc shooter. they're playing us and...

as far as I can tell, it's a cop move to believe the cop propaganda that they caught the actual uhc shooter. they're playing us and it's working too well. don't give in so easily.

cops lie. the NYPD plants evidence.

no one has to believe a word cops say

#acab means don't talk to cops but it also means don't LISTEN to them!

small children can do this. multiply disabled and neurodivergent/crazy and otherwise marginalised people can do this. it's not a rare...

small children can do this. multiply disabled and neurodivergent/crazy and otherwise marginalised people can do this. it's not a rare opportunity only afforded to some.

you just gotta actually care.

you need to care more about not doing harm than about your image, how others see you as well as your self image. this isn't about word...

you need to care more about not doing harm than about your image, how others see you as well as your self image. this isn't about word games and looking woke. this is about actually living by the values you proclaim.

it's hard. but not nearly as hard as being racialised. so. we gotta deal. we have the capacity.

if you want to be anti racist then you need to work on your ability to deal with being called out. it WILL and SHOULD happen! like all of...

if you want to be anti racist then you need to work on your ability to deal with being called out. it WILL and SHOULD happen! like all of us, you DO have racist beliefs in you and as a white person you have privileges that are usually invisible to you. getting called out is GOOD.

don't freak out at them. employ some self soothing techniques if you need to, quietly on your own or with another white person who has agreed to help you.

then reflect on why you were called out and grow and learn and actually CHANGE.

it's when you're white and simply Can Not Cope with being called out for your racism or being made aware of the consequences of your...

it's when you're white and simply Can Not Cope with being called out for your racism or being made aware of the consequences of your actions. suddenly you transform into a victorian lady who swoons and needs the Black person to fetch her the fainting couch and the smelling salts. oh woe is you! your health is suddenly and conveniently Very Bad and you need Attention and coddling!

you are dramatically and loudly too fragile to be expected to be aware of racism, the consequences of your actions or the Black person's feelings. let alone THEIR health or safety. no no being a racist is a medical emergency and everyone - ie the people who called you out - needs to drop everything RIGHT NOW to save YOU!

very convenient. Just another way for fellow white ppl to dodge responsibility. yawn.

white fragility sure is A Drug 😑

white fragility sure is A Drug 😑

I stood up for myself today. it was super hard and scary and I'm really really not used to this. I was shaking SO hard.but it is such a...

I stood up for myself today. it was super hard and scary and I'm really really not used to this. I was shaking SO hard.

but it is such a weight off my chest!!!
I needed a bit of time to get used to the idea that I had told someone something I knew they didn't like to hear. but then I had the best day in quite a while! I caught up on chores, cooked yummy food for my roommate and me, took in the beautiful light of the winter sun, listened to an audiobook while knitting and I had some hot cocoa too 😋

but most of all I am now feeling like myself. I am feeling like I get to decide over my own mind and body and actions - something that is exceedingly rare for me because due to my lifelong history of abuse, I always feel like I have little freedom over my own life and brain and body.

I highly, HIGHLY recommend this! if you feel like any relationship in your life (be it personal, familial, professional, chosen family or your activism crew) is out of balance, stand up for yourself. say something. be direct and firm about what you have noticed and what it does to you and what you need changing. let the person know how they are affecting you and what your conditions are going forward and what you need them to do to restore balance (if possible).

honestly, even if nothing is out of balance, it's probably still a good idea to have this talk with the important people in your life: what to do to keep things balanced and wholesome and mutually nurturing. what to do in case things ever slide into the unbalanced territory. maybe you can hash out an easy way, a signal how to communicate this to each other, and what to do then.

and if you are unsure? I was unsure for months. it's not like the balance of who gives more in a relationship is an easy tally. it's complex and nuanced and there's so much context to consider and grace to give. balanced does not mean equal! it means giving according to ability and taking according to need.

I did feel and at times know that things were out of whack (I'd said something a while back but things didn't improve apart from a short period of them trying without real success and then they stopped trying and went back to old habits). I made excuses and hoped the other person would fix it without me having to do a second Confrontation about it. I had no such luck. I was worried about making things worse. I was worried about being rude or hurting their feelings. I was worried about them punishing me for being honest and trying to fix things.

but it was worth it ten times over!

I would say, if you're unsure about whether or not a relationship is out of balance, broach the subject with them. how they react to your worries might give you some insight. try to be honest and try to work out something together that will make you feel better. both of you if possible.

you're worth it.

tree fell over, snow came in through the side and back doors of the house, back door was ajar. how did that happen???there were cat...

tree fell over, snow came in through the side and back doors of the house, back door was ajar. how did that happen???
there were cat pawprints going in and out that door in the snow. but the door doesn't have a handle, so how did the cat open it??

also who tf leaves their kitty outside in the snow and a wind storm 😡

we left some food and water in that room in case we shut it in - it's kind of a dirt room and there's some kind of attic crawlspace. couldn't leave the door open of course due to the cold.

hope all the cats in the neighborhood are safe and warm inside somewhere ❤️🐱🙏

lil bit shaken* by the storm, ngl.*pun intended

lil bit shaken* by the storm, ngl.

*pun intended

ok this one got posted. I get the hint universe. the first one was too honest and too direct. I'm not allowed that on the fediverse, I...

ok this one got posted. I get the hint universe. the first one was too honest and too direct. I'm not allowed that on the fediverse, I need to be up to these oppressive white middle class standards of respectability. but then I fail at that anyway so who cares.

I made a whole ass long vent post and it got eaten and I'd copied it but that got eaten TOO and I hate everything and everyone to a...

I made a whole ass long vent post and it got eaten and I'd copied it but that got eaten TOO and I hate everything and everyone to a truly unreasonable amount right now and I can't cope and I'm really desperate like legit for real (not just flipping out cause a post got eaten). but the world just wants me to die and I refuse but I don't know what to do. how can I survive without a miracle, literally how.

people just don't give a crap and I think they think I must be whiny or something but I am really trying really hard

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

turns out I'm desperate for rest and food which money could buy, please donate?? 😭🙏💸my health and especially (but not...

turns out I'm desperate for rest and food which money could buy, please donate?? 😭🙏💸

my health and especially (but not exclusively) my back has just gotten even worse despite my attempts to rest. idk what to say. it's really bad. I have no access to health care cause I am not a finnish citizen and I have no money and no way to even get to a pharmacy.

I can just do what I can do and hope it gets better eventually.

I am desperate and in so much pain and it makes me helpless and that's one of the worst feelings ever. I can't even do basic things like cooking, I can't think of working atm.

I am completely dependent on donations for now. but I haven't gotten any. it feels like no one cares and I really need to stop writing at this point bc holy shit is this getting dangerous for my mental health.

PLEASE INTERNET, DON'T JUST LET ME DIE!!! I HAVE COME TOO FAR AND SURVIVED TOO MUCH TO JUST LIE DOWN AND GIVE UP NOW, OR EVER. PLEASE DON'T FORGET ME AND DON'T LET ME DIE ALONE AND IN PAIN 😭

petition to refer to billionaires only as orca bait from now on#billionaires #EatTheRich #eatthe1percent #omnomnom

petition to refer to billionaires only as orca bait from now on

#billionaires #EatTheRich #eatthe1percent #omnomnom

daydreaming:if I'd had basic furniture etc even 2-3 months earlier, I would have way less pain and could have picked all the berries in...

daydreaming:

if I'd had basic furniture etc even 2-3 months earlier, I would have way less pain and could have picked all the berries in the garden instead of being forced to let most of them rot. I would have gotten the firewood into the garage to keep it dry instead of letting it rot further.

I would have been able to keep the house warm with fire instead of suffering cold or needing more expensive electrical heating.

I would have cooked and baked things from scratch, with the berries and wild herbs from the overgrown garden and saved money on food while getting more calories in me and getting to make tasty things I can't currently buy.

if I had even as much health as I did two years ago, instead of poverty ruining it, I could have bought a cheap second hand bike and actually go to grocery stores every now and then, saving more money over ordering everything online. plus it would have been good to get out even like once or twice a month.

(as it is, I've not left the place even once since we got here - going for a walk is a luxury I cannot afford spoons-wise and it messes me up to think about because that used to be my therapy 😭)

yeah if things had been even a bit different, I would be able to go for walks every now and then and heal my soul by being in nature.

and I'd save money on a daily basis doing things I actually love to do when it's not painful, like puttering around in the garden, taking care of firewood and the fire, keeping the house clean and cozy, cooking and baking for both me and Dion... enabling him to heal too and regain his spoons...

and we'd both have energy for work. I could earn my own money for the first time in my life and omg 😭 I don't even know what a relief that would be to not rely on abusers and abusive benefits systems for the first time in my life!!!

and Dion - y'all can see little tiny glimpses into what he can create already, stories, art, music! how much more could he be doing and how much better quality would it be if he had so much as a desk and chair and non-broken computer to work with??

I just hate capitalism so SO much 😭 😭 😭for YEARS I thought that if I had what I have now, a safe place to live in with safe people...

I just hate capitalism so SO much 😭 😭 😭

for YEARS I thought that if I had what I have now, a safe place to live in with safe people and most furniture and stuff we need, everything would be ok. or on its way there (we still need many basics but we've also come a long way since getting here).

but because it took so long to beg for even the basic necessities, it's broken down my health even more. physically and mentally. I don't think people realise the mental toll begging takes. I'd rather do anything else and I HAVE been trying to get funds for a computer (and Dion too, plus art supplies and a desk) but we don't have that yet. we are literally begging for the means of production but society deems us unworthy because we're too marginalised and traumatised.

which would only inform our art and work and make us BETTER at it but whatever. capitalism has always been irrational like this. depriving the world of our wonderful contributions by keeping us down.

I just get so frustrated knowing that if we'd gotten basic necessities sooner, my mental and physical health wouldn't have tanked this badly and I would need LESS money to survive.

I would not need to beg at all.

I would be enriching the world, healing it, and earning enough money to lift others up too.

I'd pay ppls fundraising posts off on day one and in full (plus more bc desperate, marginalised ppl tend to ask for too little) so they'd be spared what I'm going through rn. so their humanity and life and energy wouldn't be wasted for an unjust system and cruel beliefs around worthiness and "deserving" base necessities.

turns out I'm desperate for rest and food which money could buy, please donate?? 😭🙏💸£ paypal:...

turns out I'm desperate for rest and food which money could buy, please donate?? 😭🙏💸

£ paypal: diontheblackdragon@gmail.com
cashapp: £KingDionRa

I'm fucked up rn, not gonna lie
fuck. the flashbacks are getting to me.

been spending all my spoons trying to survive but it's gotten harder since I messed up my back when I built the bed. then I had a huge and dangerous flareup of my eating disorder which just messed my body up even more.
but being this desperate for money made me hurt my back even more carrying firewood because electrical heating is expensive and it was snowing.

I'm either really stupid or just dirt poor. my back has not gotten better, I can barely stand or walk and even sitting gets too painful after a while. but I need to cook and eat and oh yeah, haul a fucking washing machine around. (in vain, so far. haven't had clean clothes or bedsheets or towels since we got here in August)

I'm too exhausted.

I escaped a cult, nazis, rapists, more rapists, germany and more nazis.

is fucking capitalism gonna get me down now? is it gonna literally break my back???

I'm too fucked up to make a proper fundraising post. please if you can help without hurting your own back, please 🙏

£ paypal: diontheblackdragon@gmail.com
cashapp: £KingDionRa
(dm for € paypal or bank transfer details)

Minä olen tosi outo!(Finnish for: I am really weird!)I walked around barefoot in the frost covered grass this morning 😃honestly a good...

Minä olen tosi outo!

(Finnish for: I am really weird!)

I walked around barefoot in the frost covered grass this morning 😃

honestly a good form of touching grass, for a short time.
I am so, soooo glad to have a garden and live in nature now!!! :sob: :sob: :sob:

Se on kylmä nyt. It is cold now. no leaves left on trees for a while already, except the firs and evergreens of course. Can see farther. it's gonna be around freezing temps the next week.

I'm looking forward to snow.

the moon is so bright tonight :)I am pretty sure the moon is brighter here than it was in germany. don't even feel like I need a light...

the moon is so bright tonight :)

I am pretty sure the moon is brighter here than it was in germany. don't even feel like I need a light to go out in the yard. And everything will seem even lighter once we get snow. (though I'm in no rush to have snow, want to get the firewood into the shed first 🤞)