I don’t mean to make you jealous but I’ve already watched A Garfield Christmas 23 times this week.
1.12.2024 15:43I don’t mean to make you jealous but I’ve already watched A Garfield Christmas 23 times this week.Mavis Beacon Teaches Don’t Use the Reply All Button™
26.11.2024 17:00Mavis Beacon Teaches Don’t Use the Reply All Button™I’ve got 99 problems and they’re all trying to sell me an extended car warranty
23.11.2024 18:14I’ve got 99 problems and they’re all trying to sell me an extended car warrantyYou can make any social situation awkward if you bring up the 1986 crossover of Magnum P.I. and Murder She Wrote.
21.11.2024 18:59You can make any social situation awkward if you bring up the 1986 crossover of Magnum P.I. and Murder She Wrote.Hungry tiger!
You've been growlin’ too long at the midnight feast
Oh what's becomin' of me
Eat the diver!
You can see his fins but you know they’re feet
Oh don't you see what I mean
Ain’t no party like a fun beige party ‘cause a fun beige party don’t stop!
20.11.2024 05:06Ain’t no party like a fun beige party ‘cause a fun beige party don’t stop!It’s all fun and games until someone’s pokes there eye out. Then it’s just hilarious.
20.11.2024 04:41It’s all fun and games until someone’s pokes there eye out. Then it’s just hilarious.I’m pretty sure that once you have four cats, it’s a slippery slope to twenty otherwise known as “heaven.”
19.11.2024 15:31I’m pretty sure that once you have four cats, it’s a slippery slope to twenty otherwise known as “heaven.”Mastodon!
Bang a gong!
Get it on!
The fact that Hershey sells us their Milk Duds but not their Milk Successes is very telling.
18.11.2024 16:07The fact that Hershey sells us their Milk Duds but not their Milk Successes is very telling.ACAB includes the alt-text reply guys.
17.11.2024 15:09ACAB includes the alt-text reply guys.Karate chopping all the leaves into mulch as revenge for “falling” on my lawn.
16.11.2024 17:07Karate chopping all the leaves into mulch as revenge for “falling” on my lawn.BlueSky is an excellent alternative to Twitter but it’s no replacement for Mastodon’s weird vibes. Stay weird, weirdos!
15.11.2024 10:08BlueSky is an excellent alternative to Twitter but it’s no replacement for Mastodon’s weird vibes. Stay weird, weirdos!(Tar and feather me a little)
15.11.2024 02:29(Tar and feather me a little)I’m sorry Beige (not a cult), I’ll shitpost more often. Please don’t tar and feather me.
15.11.2024 02:26I’m sorry Beige (not a cult), I’ll shitpost more often. Please don’t tar and feather me.Oh you want to post about nothing but politics? MUTE.
15.11.2024 00:41Oh you want to post about nothing but politics? MUTE.I’m shitposting on BlueSky now: https://bsky.app/profile/hstarshot.bsky.social but I still love my Mastodon dorks
11.11.2024 20:04I’m shitposting on BlueSky now: https://bsky.app/profile/hstarshot.bsky.social but I still love my Mastodon dorksMissing the time when a viral song about foxes was all the rage
31.10.2024 11:29Missing the time when a viral song about foxes was all the rageI know it’s my age but I don’t want be sent nudes. Maybe entice me a little bit with some food and beer pics.
17.10.2024 03:06I know it’s my age but I don’t want be sent nudes. Maybe entice me a little bit with some food and beer pics.Was pretty pissed at my boss, so I decided to drive my Zamboni and smash it into his workspace. I hopped on top of it and started guzzling some beers and cursing him out. He was pretty pissed though and was shouting at me. When he stormed over, I kicked him in the gut and when he lurched over I grabbed his head, applied it to my shoulder and dropped to the ground. Take that bossman!
13.10.2024 03:09Was pretty pissed at my boss, so I decided to drive my Zamboni and smash it into his workspace. I hopped on top of it and started guzzling...