dependbledragon - Network

Good afternoon, UniverseIt's time to pick up the pieces you've given meWhy wont you give me space to just exist within you

Good afternoon, Universe

It's time to pick up the pieces you've given me

Why wont you give me space to just exist within you

Love is a word that a politician will use when they want to control your heart as well as your mind

Love is a word that a politician will use when they want to control your heart as well as your mind

it's okay to have bad brain days and to just not be okay and to want to get things out to not hurt yourselfself care is important but...

it's okay to have bad brain days and to just not be okay and to want to get things out to not hurt yourself

self care is important but sometimes we're not stable enough to make that work, and it's okay to not be okay - we still love and care for you no matter what! we know you've been trying your hardest for so long and you're allowed to rest and to let things be so that you can focus on being yourself again 💚

we're recovering from ours by being curled up in bed, a little self medicated and treating ourselves to plenty of muffled screams and body tremors to get through the worst of it, and then trying a few different self care activities

how do you like to recover from your bad brain days?

White middle and upper class people -SHUT the FUCK UP.-

White middle and upper class people -SHUT the FUCK UP.-

Low battery but your lights are on,flesh fantasy and the love goes on andpure pleasure, whatever you usewe are good times in whatever form...

Low battery but your lights are on,
flesh fantasy and the love goes on and
pure pleasure, whatever you use
we are good times in whatever form you choose ~

Honestly between the unreal assets, the train simulator game and dlc, the pack they has freaking Cloudpunk in it and the python coding pack...

Honestly between the unreal assets, the train simulator game and dlc, the pack they has freaking Cloudpunk in it and the python coding pack we're feeling really personally targeted by humblebundle right now

We recently got Rebelle 5 from a humblebundle, as we were curious to try out physics-based brushes and.. Ohh my gosh. I thought it would be...

We recently got Rebelle 5 from a humblebundle, as we were curious to try out physics-based brushes and.. Ohh my gosh. I thought it would be easier to make textured effects, but this is effortless..

I have had some form of a 🏴‍☠️'d Photoshop installed on my computers for about 13 years, and while we still prefer it for image editing (Krita is our favorite alternative and our go-to for pixel art), it had been immediately eclipsed for any digital painting..

We've hardly felt so excited to digitally paint in years and we've not tried the other softwares yet hgsgfgsggdgf

Mention of rotten food, vomitSometimes I get what I like to call 'sensory echos', where a particularly strong sensation keeps being...

Mention of rotten food, vomit

Sometimes I get what I like to call 'sensory echos', where a particularly strong sensation keeps being experienced despite the stimuli being removed. Stuff like feeling where someone has touched, or being able to taste something again suddenly long after eating. (We wonder if the after-images we get from visual snow syndrome is part of or related to this in some way?)

So today we were helping a friend with a chronically painfully debilitating spine condition by cleaning their kitchen, and there was.. An old stew left in the pressure cooker. Very, old stew. So old we almost vomited a many times we scraped it away.

Guess what we have had (thankfully diminishing!) sensory echos of for the rest of the evening, especially as we went to meet our irl partner and help them carry home cases of soda!

It was genuinely interesting to get to see this quirk play out in a way that's very clearly defined, we got a lot of data and feel more confident in our experience of this! But also we had to fight the urge to vomit in public repeatedly on our way home and partner remarked we would suddenly thousand-yard stare and lose all color in our face hgdgssg

If you don't listen to soundtrack music on loop for hours each day don't even talk to me or my headmates our my headmates'...

If you don't listen to soundtrack music on loop for hours each day don't even talk to me or my headmates our my headmates' headmates-

Masking issuesWe need to find our voice again..We just.. have retreated so far into expressing -we- expect, is expected -of us-.. it's...

Masking issues

We need to find our voice again..
We just.. have retreated so far into expressing -we- expect, is expected -of us-.. it's such a toxic trap for our self..
And.. it's so clear that no one truly wants that, but.. we still can't step out of it..

We need to.. learn to talk about things with passion and confidence again, even if no one's listening.. To be true to ourselves. Or at least have a record that we felt out thought such at all.. I guess I want this account to be that place.

.. But what hurts the most, is, not being able to love the people I do anywhere near at much as we want.. why am I afraid of being my true self to the people who like them the most..? We know we can.. we know the connection is there.. but we can only grasp it for a short time.. we want more, so much more..

Is self harming through music a much known attribute? Seems like when I'm stressed I am really dissatisfied unless the volume is...

Is self harming through music a much known attribute? Seems like when I'm stressed I am really dissatisfied unless the volume is actively hurting me. I want the familiar screeches and distortion to claw my brain. There's an upper limit, but they more pain the better it seems?

So I'm pretty terrified of using social media again, I guess things will be pretty quiet around here as I grow into it.But hey, if...

So I'm pretty terrified of using social media again, I guess things will be pretty quiet around here as I grow into it.

But hey, if you're here, reading this, thanks for stopping by. 💚 🧡