gnurglegnome - Network

They want breeding of lower quality humans to stop. I think they’d better start with the GOP....

They want breeding of lower quality humans to stop.
I think they’d better start with the GOP.

https://yorkshirebylines.co.uk/news/world/the-us-is-talking-about-mass-sterilisation-again/

🎶Try to stay soberAt the Fest of OktoberWhen the Oom-Pah-Pah bandIn lederhosenMakes you drink pilsnerUntil you feel ill, sirDon’t...

🎶Try to stay sober
At the Fest of Oktober
When the Oom-Pah-Pah band
In lederhosen
Makes you drink pilsner
Until you feel ill, sir
Don’t swallow… swallow… swallow…🎶

🎶 You can poop if you want toYou can poop just fineBut if you wanna poopAnd you can’t poop, then you’re No dog of mine....

🎶 You can poop if you want to
You can poop just fine
But if you wanna poop
And you can’t poop, then you’re
No dog of mine. 🎶
#DogSitting

Mastodonapp.ukHas been offline for nearly a day😱I miss my dear friends 😥I hope this outage endsAnd the gremlins all just go away 🥹

Mastodonapp.uk
Has been offline for nearly a day😱
I miss my dear friends 😥
I hope this outage ends
And the gremlins all just go away 🥹

Sorry for the non-funny, non-rhyming post, but @mastodonapp.uk seems to have been down since yesterday. Can anyone...

Sorry for the non-funny, non-rhyming post, but @mastodonapp.uk seems to have been down since yesterday.
Can anyone confirm/deny/explain?
@mastodonappstatus

In the UK, and also in FranceThe fash have been told “no you shan’t”We’ve only just started So (since he’s just farted)Someone...

In the UK, and also in France
The fash have been told “no you shan’t”
We’ve only just started
So (since he’s just farted)
Someone please set fire to Trump’s pants

#fedivision2024 #fedivision MORZ - That’s Life“Welcome to life said the dead manYou’re in for a hell of a rideThere’s no more roomIn...

#fedivision2024 #fedivision
MORZ - That’s Life

“Welcome to life said the dead man
You’re in for a hell of a ride
There’s no more room
In that womb
So get yourself outside”
🤣
…”Milk and cookies instead of nookie
But the old dog still has a bone WOOF!”
🤣🤣
I also like the Queen style “A-AAH” guitar after “they’ll go by in a flash”.

Having satisfied Mrs. Claus, in their warm bed,St. Nick got dressed and went to his sled.On Spaffer! On Wetpatch! On Doner Kebab!On...

Having satisfied Mrs. Claus, in their warm bed,
St. Nick got dressed and went to his sled.
On Spaffer! On Wetpatch! On Doner Kebab!
On GM-cloned-venison, grown in a lab!
On Jizzmark! On Smegma! On Viagra-On-Steroids!
But don’t make it bumpy, because of my hemorrhoids!

Sorry I’m late
#MerryChristmas! (You’re great!)

“They fuck you up, your mum and dad”So someone famous said. But they love you, and you love themAnd you miss them when they’re dead

“They fuck you up, your mum and dad”
So someone famous said.
But they love you, and you love them
And you miss them when they’re dead

Our love is like a silken threadThere’s truly nothing finerI love it when you give me headAnd I go down on your vagina#BadValentineCards

Our love is like a silken thread
There’s truly nothing finer
I love it when you give me head
And I go down on your vagina
#BadValentineCards

My Valentine,My one true love,I really think you’re awesome!So tonight, To make both our dreams come true,I’ve arranged a foursome....

My Valentine,
My one true love,
I really think you’re awesome!
So tonight,
To make both our dreams come true,
I’ve arranged a foursome.
#BadValentineCards

To Those Who Pee In The Night:Water hitting water Makes a sound that all can hearBut when it lands on porcelain It is silent to the ear.

To Those Who Pee In The Night:

Water hitting water
Makes a sound that all can hear
But when it lands on porcelain
It is silent to the ear.

Seems only fair.

Seems only fair.

Anyone who says*ANYTHING*Is better than sexHas obviously NeverHad sexWith me. #PoetryDoesntNeedToRhyme

Anyone who says
*ANYTHING*
Is better than sex
Has obviously
Never
Had sex
With me.

#PoetryDoesntNeedToRhyme

That the Twitter Twat is blocking…Everyone is shocking. But it’s really not surprising,Because his willy’s never rising. (Not beyond...

That the Twitter Twat is blocking…
Everyone is shocking.
But it’s really not surprising,
Because his willy’s never rising.
(Not beyond half-mast, anyway)

The UK has left the EU.That was a dumb thing to do.‘Cause now the economy’s seizingAnd people are freezingAnd everyone’s swimming in...

The UK has left the EU.
That was a dumb thing to do.
‘Cause now the economy’s seizing
And people are freezing
And everyone’s swimming in poo!💩

Given Twitter’s impending destruction,I should write a brief #introductionBut try as I may,I can’t think what to sayWithout a lewd...

Given Twitter’s impending destruction,
I should write a brief #introduction
But try as I may,
I can’t think what to say
Without a lewd reference to suction.

If Pebbles Flintstone and The Incredibles’ DashHad a kid, would that kid be called “Pebbledash”?(Sorry for inflicting my musings on...

If Pebbles Flintstone and The Incredibles’ Dash
Had a kid, would that kid be called “Pebbledash”?

(Sorry for inflicting my musings on you.
I thought of that joke after having a poo.)

Content warning:Humour/languageIt’s better than bitches to scratch where it itches

Content warning:Humour/language

It’s better than bitches to scratch where it itches

I tried and I tried to think of a toot,But all that came out was a big smelly poot. 💨

I tried and I tried to think of a toot,
But all that came out was a big smelly poot. 💨