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groanman2022 - Network

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I've just visited the James Bond museum, and bought a Sean Connery snowglobe as a keepshake.

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I've just visited the James Bond museum, and bought a Sean Connery snowglobe as a keepshake.

9.1.2023 23:15I've just visited the James Bond museum, and bought a Sean Connery snowglobe as a keepshake.
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🎶 Six geese olé-ing

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🎶 Six geese olé-ing

10.12.2022 18:13🎶 Six geese olé-ing
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Elton John has purchased a pair of William the Conqueror's denim trousers for just £1.50. Good buy, Norman jeans.

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Elton John has purchased a pair of William the Conqueror's denim trousers for just £1.50. Good buy, Norman jeans.

6.12.2022 21:04Elton John has purchased a pair of William the Conqueror's denim trousers for just £1.50. Good buy, Norman jeans.
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My girlfriend caught me in bed with a Picasso painting. I said, “It’s not what it looks like!”

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My girlfriend caught me in bed with a Picasso painting. I said, “It’s not what it looks like!”

3.12.2022 20:30My girlfriend caught me in bed with a Picasso painting. I said, “It’s not what it looks like!”
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I regularly receive DMs from women asking for pictures of me in jeans and a leather jacket on my OnlyFonz account.

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I regularly receive DMs from women asking for pictures of me in jeans and a leather jacket on my OnlyFonz account.

30.11.2022 21:55I regularly receive DMs from women asking for pictures of me in jeans and a leather jacket on my OnlyFonz account.
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Magicians’ assistants were most likely to lose their lives during the pandemic due to huge spikes in cases.

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Magicians’ assistants were most likely to lose their lives during the pandemic due to huge spikes in cases.

30.11.2022 20:18Magicians’ assistants were most likely to lose their lives during the pandemic due to huge spikes in cases.
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I’ve just robbed the local snooker club in broad daylight. Took a lot of balls.

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I’ve just robbed the local snooker club in broad daylight. Took a lot of balls.

30.11.2022 16:58I’ve just robbed the local snooker club in broad daylight. Took a lot of balls.
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Ever since my wife took that job in Antarctica, she's been cold and distant.

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Ever since my wife took that job in Antarctica, she's been cold and distant.

29.11.2022 22:59Ever since my wife took that job in Antarctica, she's been cold and distant.
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When I found out I was holding the taser the wrong way around, I was stunned.

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When I found out I was holding the taser the wrong way around, I was stunned.

29.11.2022 17:58When I found out I was holding the taser the wrong way around, I was stunned.
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I named my pet guinea pig 'Argos' because he's got a little pen.

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I named my pet guinea pig 'Argos' because he's got a little pen.

29.11.2022 15:09I named my pet guinea pig 'Argos' because he's got a little pen.
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- "I grew up on a notorious council estate."- "Rough area?"- "About a hundred acres."

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- "I grew up on a notorious council estate."
- "Rough area?"
- "About a hundred acres."

28.11.2022 14:15- "I grew up on a notorious council estate."- "Rough area?"- "About a hundred acres."
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I still have my late nan in my contacts. We shouldn't have scattered her ashes on such a windy day.

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I still have my late nan in my contacts. We shouldn't have scattered her ashes on such a windy day.

28.11.2022 09:51I still have my late nan in my contacts. We shouldn't have scattered her ashes on such a windy day.
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You may think the staff at the wing mirror factory don’t get on, but they’re a lot closer than they appear.

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You may think the staff at the wing mirror factory don’t get on, but they’re a lot closer than they appear.

27.11.2022 08:08You may think the staff at the wing mirror factory don’t get on, but they’re a lot closer than they appear.
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[Calling Ricky Gervais at work]Me – “Hi, can I speak to Mr Gervais, please?”PA – “He’s out of the office.”Me – “Yeah, I...

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[Calling Ricky Gervais at work]
Me – “Hi, can I speak to Mr Gervais, please?”
PA – “He’s out of the office.”
Me – “Yeah, I know who he is, mate!”

26.11.2022 20:24[Calling Ricky Gervais at work]Me – “Hi, can I speak to Mr Gervais, please?”PA – “He’s out of the office.”Me – “Yeah, I...
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Actually, of all the animals on Noah’s ark, only the woodworm went in 2x2.

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Actually, of all the animals on Noah’s ark, only the woodworm went in 2x2.

26.11.2022 11:05Actually, of all the animals on Noah’s ark, only the woodworm went in 2x2.
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I took my overnight bag to my tennis match by mistake, and had to play in my dressing gown and slippers. Still, I won comfortably.

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I took my overnight bag to my tennis match by mistake, and had to play in my dressing gown and slippers. Still, I won comfortably.

26.11.2022 09:33I took my overnight bag to my tennis match by mistake, and had to play in my dressing gown and slippers. Still, I won comfortably.
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At school, there was a prize for whoever doodled the least in their exercise books. I won by a clear margin.

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At school, there was a prize for whoever doodled the least in their exercise books. I won by a clear margin.

25.11.2022 21:11At school, there was a prize for whoever doodled the least in their exercise books. I won by a clear margin.
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My wife said she’d leave me because of my obsession with movie sequels. It's been Rocky IV a while now.

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My wife said she’d leave me because of my obsession with movie sequels. It's been Rocky IV a while now.

25.11.2022 19:26My wife said she’d leave me because of my obsession with movie sequels. It's been Rocky IV a while now.
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