groanman2022 - Network
I've just visited the James Bond museum, and bought a Sean Connery snowglobe as a keepshake.
https://masto.ai/@groanman2022/1...I've just visited the James Bond museum, and bought a Sean Connery snowglobe as a keepshake.
9.1.2023 23:15I've just visited the James Bond museum, and bought a Sean Connery snowglobe as a keepshake.https://masto.ai/@groanman2022/1...
🎶 Six geese olé-ing
https://masto.ai/@groanman2022/1...🎶 Six geese olé-ing
10.12.2022 18:13🎶 Six geese olé-inghttps://masto.ai/@groanman2022/1...
Elton John has purchased a pair of William the Conqueror's denim trousers for just £1.50. Good buy, Norman jeans.
https://masto.ai/@groanman2022/1...Elton John has purchased a pair of William the Conqueror's denim trousers for just £1.50. Good buy, Norman jeans.
6.12.2022 21:04Elton John has purchased a pair of William the Conqueror's denim trousers for just £1.50. Good buy, Norman jeans.https://masto.ai/@groanman2022/1...
My girlfriend caught me in bed with a Picasso painting. I said, “It’s not what it looks like!”
https://masto.ai/@groanman2022/1...My girlfriend caught me in bed with a Picasso painting. I said, “It’s not what it looks like!”
3.12.2022 20:30My girlfriend caught me in bed with a Picasso painting. I said, “It’s not what it looks like!”https://masto.ai/@groanman2022/1...
I regularly receive DMs from women asking for pictures of me in jeans and a leather jacket on my OnlyFonz account.
https://masto.ai/@groanman2022/1...I regularly receive DMs from women asking for pictures of me in jeans and a leather jacket on my OnlyFonz account.
30.11.2022 21:55I regularly receive DMs from women asking for pictures of me in jeans and a leather jacket on my OnlyFonz account.https://masto.ai/@groanman2022/1...
Magicians’ assistants were most likely to lose their lives during the pandemic due to huge spikes in cases.
https://masto.ai/@groanman2022/1...Magicians’ assistants were most likely to lose their lives during the pandemic due to huge spikes in cases.
30.11.2022 20:18Magicians’ assistants were most likely to lose their lives during the pandemic due to huge spikes in cases.https://masto.ai/@groanman2022/1...
I’ve just robbed the local snooker club in broad daylight. Took a lot of balls.
https://masto.ai/@groanman2022/1...I’ve just robbed the local snooker club in broad daylight. Took a lot of balls.
30.11.2022 16:58I’ve just robbed the local snooker club in broad daylight. Took a lot of balls.https://masto.ai/@groanman2022/1...
Ever since my wife took that job in Antarctica, she's been cold and distant.
https://masto.ai/@groanman2022/1...Ever since my wife took that job in Antarctica, she's been cold and distant.
29.11.2022 22:59Ever since my wife took that job in Antarctica, she's been cold and distant.https://masto.ai/@groanman2022/1...
When I found out I was holding the taser the wrong way around, I was stunned.
https://masto.ai/@groanman2022/1...When I found out I was holding the taser the wrong way around, I was stunned.
29.11.2022 17:58When I found out I was holding the taser the wrong way around, I was stunned.https://masto.ai/@groanman2022/1...
I named my pet guinea pig 'Argos' because he's got a little pen.
https://masto.ai/@groanman2022/1...I named my pet guinea pig 'Argos' because he's got a little pen.
29.11.2022 15:09I named my pet guinea pig 'Argos' because he's got a little pen.https://masto.ai/@groanman2022/1...
- "I grew up on a notorious council estate."- "Rough area?"- "About a hundred acres."
https://masto.ai/@groanman2022/1...- "I grew up on a notorious council estate."
- "Rough area?"
- "About a hundred acres."
https://masto.ai/@groanman2022/1...
I still have my late nan in my contacts. We shouldn't have scattered her ashes on such a windy day.
https://masto.ai/@groanman2022/1...I still have my late nan in my contacts. We shouldn't have scattered her ashes on such a windy day.
28.11.2022 09:51I still have my late nan in my contacts. We shouldn't have scattered her ashes on such a windy day.https://masto.ai/@groanman2022/1...
You may think the staff at the wing mirror factory don’t get on, but they’re a lot closer than they appear.
https://masto.ai/@groanman2022/1...You may think the staff at the wing mirror factory don’t get on, but they’re a lot closer than they appear.
27.11.2022 08:08You may think the staff at the wing mirror factory don’t get on, but they’re a lot closer than they appear.https://masto.ai/@groanman2022/1...
[Calling Ricky Gervais at work]Me – “Hi, can I speak to Mr Gervais, please?”PA – “He’s out of the office.”Me – “Yeah, I...
https://masto.ai/@groanman2022/1...[Calling Ricky Gervais at work]
Me – “Hi, can I speak to Mr Gervais, please?”
PA – “He’s out of the office.”
Me – “Yeah, I know who he is, mate!”
https://masto.ai/@groanman2022/1...
Actually, of all the animals on Noah’s ark, only the woodworm went in 2x2.
https://masto.ai/@groanman2022/1...Actually, of all the animals on Noah’s ark, only the woodworm went in 2x2.
26.11.2022 11:05Actually, of all the animals on Noah’s ark, only the woodworm went in 2x2.https://masto.ai/@groanman2022/1...
I took my overnight bag to my tennis match by mistake, and had to play in my dressing gown and slippers. Still, I won comfortably.
https://masto.ai/@groanman2022/1...I took my overnight bag to my tennis match by mistake, and had to play in my dressing gown and slippers. Still, I won comfortably.
26.11.2022 09:33I took my overnight bag to my tennis match by mistake, and had to play in my dressing gown and slippers. Still, I won comfortably.https://masto.ai/@groanman2022/1...
At school, there was a prize for whoever doodled the least in their exercise books. I won by a clear margin.
https://masto.ai/@groanman2022/1...At school, there was a prize for whoever doodled the least in their exercise books. I won by a clear margin.
25.11.2022 21:11At school, there was a prize for whoever doodled the least in their exercise books. I won by a clear margin.https://masto.ai/@groanman2022/1...
My wife said she’d leave me because of my obsession with movie sequels. It's been Rocky IV a while now.
https://masto.ai/@groanman2022/1...My wife said she’d leave me because of my obsession with movie sequels. It's been Rocky IV a while now.
25.11.2022 19:26My wife said she’d leave me because of my obsession with movie sequels. It's been Rocky IV a while now.https://masto.ai/@groanman2022/1...