kaci - Network

Asking myself "How does it feel?" instead of "How does it look like?" has improved my life as an #ActuallyAutistic...

Asking myself "How does it feel?" instead of "How does it look like?" has improved my life as an #ActuallyAutistic person to a great extent. While it's relatively easy for me when I am dancing, it's more difficult with other forms of stimming and facial expressions. Finding out that I am autistic and sharing my experiences with other autistic people has helped a lot, but it's still a long journey for me. I recently realised that I felt ashamed, when I avoided eye contact during a conversation, because it might look "shy" and be perceived as "impolite".
@actuallyautistic

To the social worker, who worked with autistic kids and did the yoga teacher training together with me:When I told you, that it's an...

To the social worker, who worked with autistic kids and did the yoga teacher training together with me:
When I told you, that it's an autistic trait of me, that I always put the yoga mat on the same place in the yoga room, you said "No, that has nothing to do with autism. It's a compulsive disorder."
8 years later I found out, that you were wrong and that I am #ActuallyAutistic. You never asked me, why I acted this way. You could have helped me to find out a very important aspect about myself 8 years earlier, but you didn't, because I am different from the autistic kids you work with.
And yes, it's also an autistic trait, that I still remember this situation and can't stop thinking about it.
@actuallyautistic

I don't understand why so many product packagings are so difficult to open and handle. For an average person it can be really annoying...

I don't understand why so many product packagings are so difficult to open and handle. For an average person it can be really annoying sometimes, but what about #disabled and/or #ChronicallyIll people?

CPTSD, AutismOne reason why so many #ActuallyAutistic people suffer from CPTSD is the constant overstimulation of our senses in a society...

CPTSD, Autism

One reason why so many #ActuallyAutistic people suffer from CPTSD is the constant overstimulation of our senses in a society that hasn't been made for us and invalidates our experiences. It's actually a method that has been used to torture people for decades.

I am one of the late diagnosed #ActuallyAutistic people, who found out, that they are autistic themselves before getting an official...

I am one of the late diagnosed #ActuallyAutistic people, who found out, that they are autistic themselves before getting an official diagnosis. When I suspected that I might be autistic, reading the posts of other autistic people was very helpful for me. This post might help other people on the path of exploring their neurodivergence. Of course every autistic person is different, so you might not relate to every aspect I mention.
Here are some autistic traits, you might find relatable:
- sensory issues (lights too bright, clothes are itchy, sounds to loud etc.)
- you always felt different (like an alien from another planet)
- being "too" honest (and don't understand why other people are not)
- feeling exhausted and/or overwhelmed by situations, that are "normal" for other people
- repetitive behaviour/routines
(e.g. listening to the same song over and over again, samefood, stimming, wanting the same seat etc.)
- rejecting hierarchies and demands
- planning everything carefully
- avoiding eye-contact (and looking at people's mouth instead)
- problems with finding friends and/or keeping friendships
- liking clear rules as long as they are reasonable for you
- spotting patterns/details other people are not aware of
- problems with "letting things go"
- making lists 🙂
Feel free to add you own list or helpful information, if you are autistic yourself.
@actuallyautistic

Today it's my birthday and it's also amolst one year ago, that I found out, that I am #ActuallyAutistic. Understanding myself so...

Today it's my birthday and it's also amolst one year ago, that I found out, that I am #ActuallyAutistic. Understanding myself so much better and getting support from the Autistic online-community has improved my mental health and a lot of parts of my life to a great extent. Having access to all this important information has been a great gift for me. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and feelings with a stranger like me ❤️
@actuallyautistic

abuse, neurodivergence, childhood traumaI recently read in a post that Autistic traits don't cause abusive behaviour (especially in...

abuse, neurodivergence, childhood trauma

I recently read in a post that Autistic traits don't cause abusive behaviour (especially in comparison to other forms of neurdivergence) and I can tell from my own experience, that this is not true. Every form of neurodivergence can cause abusive behaviour, but abusive behaviour isn't necessarily the result of neurodivergence.
I had to think about the abusive behaviour of my autistic mum. The fact, that every kind of housework had to be done in a specific way and her violent reaction, when me or my dad didn't do it in the exact way she expected us to do it, was one example of her abusive behaviour and has been one of many traumatising experiences during my childhood.
It has been a consequence of her autistic need of sameness, repetitive behaviour and control. Her meltdown when this need hasn't been met is also linked to the fact, that she is autistic.
I have no contact to my family for many years now. There is nothing to forgive, because I don't believe in the concept of guilt, but I believe in my right to protect myself by keeping distance to them.
Although it has been helpful for me to understand my mum's neurodivergence, the important question hasn't been, if she is autistic, has a NPD or both. I wish we would talk more about how we can protect ourselves from abusers and how we as a society can prevent abusive behaviour, than demonizing certain forms of neurdivergence, because this is just scapegoating neurodivergent people for systemic issues.
#ActuallyAutistic
@actuallyautistic

"Once we start realising that diagnostic criteria for all mental health "conditions" are based on the neurodivergent person...

"Once we start realising that diagnostic criteria for all mental health "conditions" are based on the neurodivergent person in distress, we must become curious about what these neurodivergent minds would look like in a world that didn't cause them to suffer."
David Gray-Hammond, "The New Normal"
This book is full of great thoughts and beautiful sentences like this ❤️
@actuallyautistic
#ActuallyAutistic

In her new video Mica explains why "Gender Criticals" are wrong about Autistic trans people by analysing latest statistics, her...

In her new video Mica explains why "Gender Criticals" are wrong about Autistic trans people by analysing latest statistics, her own experiences as an #ActuallyAutistic women and many quotes of Autistic trans people.
https://youtu.be/qlV27yFLRqU
@actuallyautistic

My first plushie since I was a child 😍

My first plushie since I was a child 😍

Although driving in cities often brought me close to a meltdown, the alternative of using public transport always felt worse, especially...

Although driving in cities often brought me close to a meltdown, the alternative of using public transport always felt worse, especially concerning sensory issues.
After years of #AutisticBurnout both is close to impossible for me, so I depend on people driving me to places I can't reach by foot.
For me this is one aspect of being disabled as an #ActuallyAutistic person.
@actuallyautistic

I avoid making eye contact during conversations, because it feels too intense and makes it difficult for me to focus on what the person is...

I avoid making eye contact during conversations, because it feels too intense and makes it difficult for me to focus on what the person is saying. Looking at their mouth makes it much easier for me to understand them, because I also have difficulties with audio processing, especially when sounds are overlapping.
Sometimes when I watch the synchronized version of a movie or a tv-show, it happens that I not only hear the spoken language, but also lip-read the original words.
#ActuallyAutistic
@actuallyautistic

You know this time at parties when most people left, it's late and the conversations moved from the different levels of smalltalk to...

You know this time at parties when most people left, it's late and the conversations moved from the different levels of smalltalk to more personal topics, honest and with more depth? I often didn't make it to this point, because I have been exhausted much earlier.
Since I share my thoughts and feelings with the #ActuallyAutistic community online, I experience a level of even more depth and honesty every day. And for the first time of my life I relate to so much of it. It happens so often that I read something and can't believe that there are other people who think this way, that I am not an alien, not the only person in the world with this thoughts and feelings.
Thank you so much ❤️
@actuallyautistic

I rewatched the whole #StarTrek Voyager series during the last weeks and continue with the new season #Picard. I am so happy that Seven of...

I rewatched the whole #StarTrek Voyager series during the last weeks and continue with the new season #Picard. I am so happy that Seven of Nine is part of the crew, because she is one of my favourite characters 🙂

In the forest I found the first spring flower today. 🙂

In the forest I found the first spring flower today. 🙂

For some people "Go outside and enjoy the beautiful weather!" is not the helpful advice you might think it is.For years I wondered...

For some people "Go outside and enjoy the beautiful weather!" is not the helpful advice you might think it is.
For years I wondered why my "depression" often seems to get worse during spring. Maybe because I wasn't depressed but #ActuallyAutistic and my sensory issues with light didn't make the bright sunny day the joyful experience it is for neurotypical people. It also didn't help that much (and that is what we have in common with depressed and other ND people) that while it "normal" to spend most time at home during winter, everybody expects you to go outside and socialize when spring starts, which makes you feel like an awkward person even more.
@actuallyautistic

Already as a child people made me feel ashamed for "complaining too much", which had a huge impact on my whole life. It made me...

Already as a child people made me feel ashamed for "complaining too much", which had a huge impact on my whole life. It made me overstep my boundaries to the point of burnout I never fully recovered from.
Much later in life I learned, that this was not only ableist against me as an #ActuallyAutistic person, but is also part of systemic oppression and white supremacy culture. "Don't complain others have it worse" never did anything for the people who have it worse, but makes the people who complain feel ashamed. It silences them, makes them search for the problem in themselves instead of looking at systemical issues and it means, that there always have to be people, who have it worse.
Of course it's good to practice gratitude and humility, but imo the people, who really lack it don't feel ashamed at all. They are the reason why you should complain and others have it worse.
@actuallyautistic

#StarTrek Holodecks are the ultimate #ActuallyAutistic dream. You can regulate everything 😊

#StarTrek Holodecks are the ultimate #ActuallyAutistic dream. You can regulate everything 😊

Reflecting on competence and experts, I come to the conclusion that I am a fan of the first and critical of the latter. If you know more...

Reflecting on competence and experts, I come to the conclusion that I am a fan of the first and critical of the latter. If you know more about a topic than I do, I will carefully listen to your advice and I respect your competence.
On the other hand there are a lot of people who are of the opinion that experts with official certificates always know better than autodidacts. Those people do not consider what it takes to become such an expert in our society, because it not only about competence.
It has a lot to do with power structures and normativity like patriarchy and white supremacy culture and often popularity counts more than competence.
For that reason there is a lack of diversity and therefore a lack of knowledge in all fields of science (e.g. gender data gap).

I would really like to share more cute pictures of Lumi, but this an example of him 30 seconds after I decided to take a picture because he...

I would really like to share more cute pictures of Lumi, but this an example of him 30 seconds after I decided to take a picture because he was lying on the sofa in such a cute and relaxed way. Lumi doesn't like to be photographed 🤨