kazarnowicz - Network

I installed Arte yesterday, and there's so much content for free. Highly recommend checking it...

I installed Arte yesterday, and there's so much content for free. Highly recommend checking it out!
https://social.vivaldi.net/@ueeu/114157528603949502

Q: What's the difference between a MAGAt and an Ukrainian?A: A Ukrainian defends their capitol.

Q: What's the difference between a MAGAt and an Ukrainian?

A: A Ukrainian defends their capitol.

While he had momentum, he quit his job (I assume very well-paying, since he's good at what he does and his skills are in high demand)....

While he had momentum, he quit his job (I assume very well-paying, since he's good at what he does and his skills are in high demand). He had to move to a smaller city due to a new client.

He had also started dating the friend from IRC. He called to tell me he was in a great place, and just wanted to share the fortunate chain of events that led to this major change in his life.

Being the instigator of fortunate chains of events would be a cool super-power. Like a chaotic good Loki.

6/6

Turns out she was divorced, and the honest conversation they had about what went wrong in her marriage made him realize he had to break up...

Turns out she was divorced, and the honest conversation they had about what went wrong in her marriage made him realize he had to break up with his current partner. He had considered it for a few years, but inertia is a beast. This pushed him to make the adult choice: he broke up and moved out.

5/x

When he left he was supposed to keep going north, but on a whim decided to drive back home. The car trip to Stockholm is a two day drive,...

When he left he was supposed to keep going north, but on a whim decided to drive back home. The car trip to Stockholm is a two day drive, and he stopped in a town six hours from the capital.

While there, he remembered that a friend from IRC (the OG discord, huge in the 90s) lived there with her husband and kids. He texted and asked for a recommendation for dinner. They ended up catching up over a coffee before he left the next day.

4/x

He accepted (he likes hiking, animals, and photography - and we have great opportunities for all those) and when he came he brought a...

He accepted (he likes hiking, animals, and photography - and we have great opportunities for all those) and when he came he brought a friend. It wasn't what I expected, but I also trusted his judgment in who he in turn invited - and his friend was indeed a lovely person.

@Nightwolf and I left for the US before they left, and apart from a few texts after we didn’t keep in touch. Until the call the other week.

3/x

Over the years, the core group have gotten together for the occasional happy hour or lunch, but we didn't really keep in touch outside...

Over the years, the core group have gotten together for the occasional happy hour or lunch, but we didn't really keep in touch outside of that and social media.

I still think fondly of them, and this January in 2023 I was wondering how K was doing. I sent him a message and we met up for a beer.

He was the same person, but with less rough edges. Thoughtful, didn't talk too much, smart, funny in a low-key way. And still a kind guy.

I invited him to use our guest house in the summer.

2/x

With the world being what it is, I want to share a story that inspired hope in me:The other week, I got a phone call. It was a former...

With the world being what it is, I want to share a story that inspired hope in me:

The other week, I got a phone call. It was a former colleague of mine (let’s call him K) who I hadn't spoken to in over a year.

The year before, in early 2023, I had been in Stockholm for work. A series of fortunate circumstances got me reminiscing about one of my first jobs. It was a small web agency that never got caught up in the fancy stuff. So small and well managed that it was more than a job.

1/x

I need to microdose the world right now. My escapes include Diablo 4, Ghosts (fantastic comedy with a lot of heart), Prime Target (it's...

I need to microdose the world right now.

My escapes include Diablo 4, Ghosts (fantastic comedy with a lot of heart), Prime Target (it's really good if you think of it as a YA thriller), and procrastinating writing.

I know that once I start I will be consumed by it. And I think that now is a good time to become consumed by something constructive, rather than the state of the world.

I've also been exploring my shamanistic side. Or rather, I have stopped saying no when someone seeks me out.

Fun fact:Mark Zuckerberg wanted his last name to be an aptonym now that he's in his final transformation to #DorkMaga, so he legally...

Fun fact:

Mark Zuckerberg wanted his last name to be an aptonym now that he's in his final transformation to #DorkMaga, so he legally changed it to Cuckerberg.

I think that one way that we ordinary men can help us to collectively fix the messy state of civilization is by discussing our own struggles...

I think that one way that we ordinary men can help us to collectively fix the messy state of civilization is by discussing our own struggles with masculinity.

Instead of getting bogged down by definitions, we need to talk about the issues we are struggling with.

Those of us who have worked through our issues should talk about how, it gives blueprints and viewpoints.

Conversations such as these would awaken the humanity inherent in us regardless of our gender experience.

#masculinity

When you don't have to struggle with how society mirrors your physical experience. I believe that you're more vulnerable to...

When you don't have to struggle with how society mirrors your physical experience. I believe that you're more vulnerable to #ToxicMasculinity the more society mirrors you as 'masculine’. Masc4Masc is a gay version of that.

I came out at 18, but it wasn’t until I started therapy in my 30s that I untangled the toxic parts of masculinity from my experience and what and who I was attracted to.

Acknowledging that you have a problem is the first step. Recovery takes time and effort.

#masculinity

When you create fundamental dichotomies in your mind, you will automatically assign one of the two options when prompted. Masculine/feminine...

When you create fundamental dichotomies in your mind, you will automatically assign one of the two options when prompted. Masculine/feminine is such a dichotomy.

This applies to things as well as people. "Which of these two chairs is more feminine?" or “Which of these two guys looks most gay?”. In the collective unconscious in the 90s, gay men were less than, just like women were, and other minorities.

A core #ToxicMasculinity belief is that feminine is 'less than’.

#masculinity

My crisis of masculinity started when I, with great shame, accepted that I was gay at 14. I knew when I was 6 that I liked boys, and when...

My crisis of masculinity started when I, with great shame, accepted that I was gay at 14. I knew when I was 6 that I liked boys, and when puberty hit at 12 I realized what that really meant.

I also learned that there's a gay flavor of #ToxicMasculinity.

I have physical attributes that are strongly associated with 'masculinity’ (once a cab driver in Chicago asked my party “Is that his real voice?”). But there are things that are forbidden if you're masculine.

#masculinity

I don't know if my hyper-empathy makes me feel more than other people, or if it is just that I am so easily affected by the presence of...

I don't know if my hyper-empathy makes me feel more than other people, or if it is just that I am so easily affected by the presence of others, but I think it's the latter. I believe every human is capable of this depth of emotions, mine are simply easier to excite.

This would explain the anxiety I felt around people once I switched gender from boy to man in the eyes of others. By then I knew I was gay and this was late 80s/early 90s.

#masculinity #ActuallyAutistic

It took a decade of work before that damage was undone. It was hard work, and it was fun, and dangerous (because it required flirting with...

It took a decade of work before that damage was undone. It was hard work, and it was fun, and dangerous (because it required flirting with the darkness in order to understand it and later befriend it).

I think that I now understand the concept of higher-self. It is the self-actualized version of oneself which exists on the metaphysical plane. It guides us towards self-actualization.

In hindsight, so many things I did that decade were about getting in touch with my emotions.

#masculinity

In my early 30s I went to therapy to start dealing with my shit for real. My (fantastic) therapist suggested that I ask my closest friends...

In my early 30s I went to therapy to start dealing with my shit for real. My (fantastic) therapist suggested that I ask my closest friends which emotional states they associated with me.

The answer from all four of them was "happy or angry". It showed me how guarded I was with my emotions, how private. "Men don't cry" etched shackles into my very being that hid who I really was from everyone, including my best friends and myself.

Acknowledging I had a problem was the first step.

#masculinity

I'm watching this and having a very profound emotional experience. It gives me hope for humanity. It also makes me revisit parts of my...

I'm watching this and having a very profound emotional experience.

It gives me hope for humanity. It also makes me revisit parts of my life through the lens of realizing that I'm #ActuallyAutistic, and how the toxic parts of masculinity for 40 years denied me access to this experience.

In order to experience something you have to be open to it. Suppressing your emotions over time results in chronic unfeeling. No wonder so many men are angry and depressed. I was one of them.

#masculinity

Every once in a blue moon there is a piece of music that gives me goosebumps, chills, and makes me cry."Waloyo Yamoni" is one of...

Every once in a blue moon there is a piece of music that gives me goosebumps, chills, and makes me cry.

"Waloyo Yamoni" is one of these:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XH6IT_tsSUI

Christopher Tin conducts the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra, three choirs, and vocalists Jimmer Bolden and Allie McNay in a breathtaking arrangement of a Lango (Uganda) rainmaking litany.

It’s uplifting in so many ways.

Study from Sweden and Portugal shows that crabs likely feel pain:https://www.mdpi.com/2079-7737/13/11/851#consciousness

Study from Sweden and Portugal shows that crabs likely feel pain:

https://www.mdpi.com/2079-7737/13/11/851

#consciousness