I am a spooky skeleton wearing a suit made of skin and haunted by a ghost.
You?
24.9.2023 17:44I am a spooky skeleton wearing a suit made of skin and haunted by a ghost.You?Hi. How is everyone this fine afternoon?
24.9.2023 17:44Hi. How is everyone this fine afternoon?I need questions for Ask Good Paul / Bad Paul! Ask me a question about poetry! I'll give you writing advice, reading advice, relationship advice, whatever you need!
https://clockworksacademy.com/advice
19.9.2023 02:18I need questions for Ask Good Paul / Bad Paul! Ask me a question about poetry! I'll give you writing advice, reading advice,...In terms of content, the Milne poem isn't saying anything profound. They went to find the pole, they went all together, they didn't know where it was... yay!
But it DOES have a narrative that goes somewhere, a tight focus, and several moments of surprise or reversal.
There is more to be said, but I think that's enough for now. I enjoyed myself a lot, and I hope some of you found this at least a little bit interesting!
9.8.2023 15:25In terms of content, the Milne poem isn't saying anything profound. They went to find the pole, they went all together, they didn't...And surprise is a key to good poetry that isn't trying to be funny, also. In content, the two things that make a poem good (that make any literature good) are the conflicting pulls of familiarity and surprise.
We get pleasure from reading something that we already know, that we recognize, that reminds us of the shared nature of human experience. But we also get pleasure from reading something we didn't already know. A new insight, or perspective.
9.8.2023 15:24And surprise is a key to good poetry that isn't trying to be funny, also. In content, the two things that make a poem good (that make...And there's the next level of analysis. So far I've entirely focused on formal considerations, which really is the thing a computer should be best at because it's made up of straightforward rules.
But Milne is fun and funny, and the bot is boring.
The key to humour, above all, is surprise. Milne's poem isn't bust-a-gut laughing funny, but it is smile-worthy, because of moments like "Pole/tole" and the repeated refrain, and the "It's a Thing you Discover" and the "Sing Hey!"
9.8.2023 15:24And there's the next level of analysis. So far I've entirely focused on formal considerations, which really is the thing a computer...And finally, "Pole/tole" is definitely a forced rhyme, but it's a freely and playfully forced rhyme instead of a banal and obvious one. "Tole" for "told" is funny. It doesn't read like Milne couldn't think of a rhyme, it reads like he is playing with vocabulary and sounds as a joke.
9.8.2023 15:23And finally, "Pole/tole" is definitely a forced rhyme, but it's a freely and playfully forced rhyme instead of a banal and...Milne uses the inertia of meaning to carry us through the change in the rhyme scheme, and then the inertia of the rhyme scheme to carry us through the next change in meaning.
9.8.2023 15:22Milne uses the inertia of meaning to carry us through the change in the rhyme scheme, and then the inertia of the rhyme scheme to carry us...Next we have Pooh/too/knew:
Eeyore, Christopher Robin and Pooh
And Rabbit’s relations all went too—
And where the Pole was none of them knew. …
This moment is a change in the rhyme scheme, so none of these rhymes feel predictable or expected.
We expect another "Owl and Piglet and Rabbit and all" after "Pooh", but instead Milne changes the rhyme pattern and also ties the line "Eeyore, Christopher Robin and Pooh" and the next one to the refrain line by expanding on its meaning.
9.8.2023 15:22Next we have Pooh/too/knew:Eeyore, Christopher Robin and PoohAnd Rabbit’s relations all went too—And where the Pole was none of them...Compare actual Milne. His rhyming groups are:
Pole/tole, all/all/all, Pooh/too/knew
All/all/all is a chorus. It's not just a rhyming end, the whole line is almost the same each time. That creates cohesion and playfulness, and makes the whole thing feel like a song.
That playfulness is the opposite of a forced rhyme.
9.8.2023 15:21Compare actual Milne. His rhyming groups are:Pole/tole, all/all/all, Pooh/too/knewAll/all/all is a chorus. It's not just a rhyming end,..."Aside" really makes no sense in the line:
"While Eeyore sits and mopes aside"
What it means is Eeyore is on the sidelines. But that's not really what "aside" means. But it rhymes with pride.
And I don't mind the rhyme of "see/believe" except that in the lines:
But they're all friends, you see
In this wonderful land of make-believe
the "you see" is awkward and doesn't really make sense. It's just there to rhyme with "believe" but it DOESN'T rhyme with "believe".
9.8.2023 15:21"Aside" really makes no sense in the line:"While Eeyore sits and mopes aside"What it means is Eeyore is on the...And why is Pooh up for something new? Is there going to be novelty in this poem?
No, it's just to rhyme with "Pooh".
Tigger bounces with great glee
And Piglet hides behind a tree
"Glee" is a weird word here. It's almost right, but not quite, but it rhymes with tree.
Most of the rhymes are simple true rhymes of one-syllable words. "Pride/aside" and "see/believe" are the exceptions.
9.8.2023 15:20And why is Pooh up for something new? Is there going to be novelty in this poem?No, it's just to rhyme with "Pooh".Tigger...The bot chooses banal and obvious rhymes almost always.
What do I mean banal and obvious?
The content of the poem is determined by the need to rhyme:
In the woods, the trees do grow
And the stream flows nice and slow
There's a little bear named Pooh
Who's always up for something new
Why are we mentioning that trees grow. Isn't that obvious? But it's to rhyme with the "slow" in the next line.
9.8.2023 15:19The bot chooses banal and obvious rhymes almost always.What do I mean banal and obvious? The content of the poem is determined by the need...The bot's rhyme scheme is
AABB CCDD EEFF, or we could say AABB for each stanza
... do grow
... and slow
... named Pooh
... thing new
... to play
... all day
... great glee
... a tree
... with pride
... aside
... you see
... believe
There's nothing inherently wrong with AABB CCDD EEFF, but mixing up the pattern like Milne does is definitely more interesting.
We could pick on the weak rhyme of "see" and "believe" in the third stanza, but really I want to pick on all the OTHER rhymes.
9.8.2023 15:17The bot's rhyme scheme isAABB CCDD EEFF, or we could say AABB for each stanza ... do grow ... and slow ... named Pooh... thing new... ...Then there's the rhyme.
Milne's rhyme scheme is
ABABCCCA:
... the Pole,
... and all;
... been tole
... and all.
... and Pooh
... all went too—
... them knew. …
... and all!
He chooses a one-syllable stressed interjection with no filler unstressed syllables even though the metre expects an unstressed syllable there, because there's a pause after "Hey!" that functions as an unstressed syllable.
9.8.2023 15:16He chooses a one-syllable stressed interjection with no filler unstressed syllables even though the metre expects an unstressed syllable...Milne's metre never misses like this. I'm not going to go line by line, but check it and see. There's no line where you're unsure where the stress should go, no line where he adds words or syllables only to meet the metrical requirements.
Even the last line:
"Sing Hey! for Owl and Rabbit and all!"
might seem like the HEY is just there for the metre, because interjections might feel like filler, but it isn't.
9.8.2023 15:16Milne's metre never misses like this. I'm not going to go line by line, but check it and see. There's no line where you're...And finally:
In this WONderful LAND of MAKE-beLIEVE
isn't as bad as the last one, but also adds extra unstressed syllables, and messes with the stress unstress pattern.
9.8.2023 15:15And finally:In this WONderful LAND of MAKE-beLIEVEisn't as bad as the last one, but also adds extra unstressed syllables, and messes...The next one:
But THEY'RE ALL FRIENDS, you SEE
puts three stressed syllables next to each other. You can drop an unstressed syllable now and then, but Milne never gives us a foot with no unstressed syllables at all.
We also, in natural speech, don't want to stress the THEY. So this line is a metrical mess. We have to force it into the pattern by breaking the rules of BOTH the pattern AND natural pronunciation.
9.8.2023 15:15The next one:But THEY'RE ALL FRIENDS, you SEEputs three stressed syllables next to each other. You can drop an unstressed syllable now...That "in the" makes the line feel rushed, and it's also ambiguous, because we want to stress the IN, since we did in the first line, but if we do we'll end up with five feet, or else we'll have to cram extra syllables in the second foot by making it "HUNdred acre".
9.8.2023 15:14That "in the" makes the line feel rushed, and it's also ambiguous, because we want to stress the IN, since we did in the first...